Jack of All Trades, Master of None
Some people have their lives figured out for them. They shoot straight as an arrow through grade school, college, and into the career they’ve always wanted. I’m not one of those people. I’ve always found the swirling possibilities of career paths laid out in front of me to be overwhelming, and after graduating, that confusion has only increased. At least with school, I had some sort of structure and an end goal – a degree. Now that that’s done, I feel a little lost, and I know I’m not alone in feeling that.
In elementary school I was a “gifted” student. In second grade, my teacher gave me extra math projects because I was so “gifted” with numbers. In fourth grade, my teacher lent me her favorite books because I was such a “gifted” reader. In fifth grade, my teacher gave me a new sketch book because I was so “gifted” in art. I never really had a true passion that I felt like I could focus on. I had to do everything and I had to be good at everything, at least that’s what society led me to believe.
As I aged, I started to notice a gap between myself and others. Sure, I could dance and play the viola, but I wasn’t the top of my class in either of those. Sure, I was in all AP classes, but it was a struggle to keep up. I watched as my peers excelled with ease. In every facet, I felt mediocre and I still felt like I had to achieve in absolutely everything or my parents wouldn’t be proud of me. It was ridiculous, I know, they probably would’ve loved me no matter what. In my mind, I was holding up “The Pillars of Casey”. Everyone has their own pillars. Some only have one and they build it up and up and up, but I couldn’t let go of any my pillars. None of them were allowed to topple, so as a result, my pillars were shorter.
In college, I started to focus, kinda. I chose to study neuroscience to keep up the illusion that I was still “gifted” and was absolutely miserable every step of the way. On top of that, I started running an art instagram account. I worked part time for a startup. I taught ukulele workshops for Hawai’i club. I took creative writing classes and got myself published in some tiny journals nobody probably read. I felt constant regret that I wasn’t studying astrophysics to become an astronaut or that I didn’t follow my passion for dance and become a professional ballerina or that I didn’t study ecology so I could go to Africa and study gorillas and do really cool field work or that- and the list goes on. I felt like I was failing the childhood version of myself, who had wild dreams about who I could become. Now, I’m none of those.
Recently, I had a meeting with my boss’s boss. She complimented how versatile I am and then asked the question that I never know how to answer. What is it that I want to be? What are my life goals? Lately, I’ve kinda decided to ride this wave and see where that puts me. I’m doing nothing related to my major and all plans are out the window at the moment, so instead, we talked about her career path. She told me that she was also all over the place and now her job requires her to be all over the place. She helps in every aspect of “the business” and as such, she has to be knowledgeable in every aspect of the business. She trusts that the people she works with will be the experts and she’ll be the glue that brings everyone together to make something cohesive. For the first time in my life, I was talking to a “jack of all trades” like myself, who used that ability to become successful. I’d spent my whole life talking to people who followed career paths that required extreme passion and focus, not aware that there are people out there like me, who could still be successful without having to focus in that way. For the first time, being mediocre at everything was a strength.
I in no way think that each person is destined for a specific career path, but I’m glad to learn that there are options out there for a confused person like myself.
